I move about chill digs in hungry morning,
feeding four-leggeds, feeding small
retarded brother, feeding me
too, porridge, & black faux coffee,
carrot and orange together juiced and diluted.
Out the big windows ice glitters on dazzlesnow
& morning temperature is 1 degree.
While water comes to kettleboil I try
an old routine on the yoga mat. Ugh.
My old body, long accustomed just to sit or lie,
incredulous. Just what, it wonders, am I doing?
I wonder it too - nothing stretches, nothing holds.
I shudder at shoulder, wobble at knee, I bend halfway.
I stand. I still stand pretty well.
Cagebirds mutter & peck. Old fed terrier snores in the corner.
Brought-in potted plants array glad leaves
receiving a.m. windowlight.
Out there, ice, ice.
1.01.2013
12.30.2012
At last the opportunity, but pretty tired now. Just a note. Typed on the iPhone, so lots of typos probably.
Fine cold snow has fallen all day and falls still, now, well after midnight. Ted the cat is out in it somewhere, huge he is orange and alpha, doing reconnaissance on behalf of his clan before he can rest inside for the night. ... There he is now at the front door. Back in a minute.
... Skip and brotherB and I went into town to see Skyfall tonight, afterward crunching home in the old Mercury slow down the sparkleice white sidestreets all by ourselves in the frozen night and sifting snow.
***
Watched The Shining recently, my new official SamMills Christmas movie instead of the Wonderful Life of ignorant and innocent times when I thought we'd all love and respect one another forever. Now in these years post-personal-apocalypse it's strictly murder movies for the holidays, and so I dreamed last night of JackTorrance, deranged and relentless, pursuing me through a great house from room to room, and then through streets and parks and apartment buildings. People tried to help, hiding me, distracting him, but he stayed on the scent and never stopped, until at last I came to a dead end (ha! the punnings of dreams ...) in an elegant clifftop apartment with its glass far wall overlooking the sea, and waves crashing on rocks far far below, and I turned just as Jack rushed and embraced me and we crashed through the glass and down down onto the stones and were broken there and dead. And then we went at it again, like a video game - could I run faster? should I turn this way instead of that this time? and so on. But I could see it would end the same no matter how many times I changed my strategy. No escape. Clearly.
So, you know, I turned 60 years old two days ago, no biggie, but I guess some part of me wants me to start getting ready for the big finish.
***
I've been working hard at the Friends of the Library used book outlet, changing it all about, cleaning, gleaning, removing dead volumes to make room for titles a little more vital. It's fun and arduous and slow - slow because the main storage unit is unheated, and days lately start out near zero degrees. Ugh. But I've also been acquiring decent titles at rock-bottom prices (the semi-annual buck-a-bag sale lasted the whole month of December). We'll keep them bills paid.
Cats Lobsang, Ted, and Piffle, and dogApple, are here on the bed ready for lights-out. But where's Greta? I've saved her spot. Leo prefers the silence and solitude of the living room's comfy chair.
Fine cold snow has fallen all day and falls still, now, well after midnight. Ted the cat is out in it somewhere, huge he is orange and alpha, doing reconnaissance on behalf of his clan before he can rest inside for the night. ... There he is now at the front door. Back in a minute.
... Skip and brotherB and I went into town to see Skyfall tonight, afterward crunching home in the old Mercury slow down the sparkleice white sidestreets all by ourselves in the frozen night and sifting snow.
***
Watched The Shining recently, my new official SamMills Christmas movie instead of the Wonderful Life of ignorant and innocent times when I thought we'd all love and respect one another forever. Now in these years post-personal-apocalypse it's strictly murder movies for the holidays, and so I dreamed last night of JackTorrance, deranged and relentless, pursuing me through a great house from room to room, and then through streets and parks and apartment buildings. People tried to help, hiding me, distracting him, but he stayed on the scent and never stopped, until at last I came to a dead end (ha! the punnings of dreams ...) in an elegant clifftop apartment with its glass far wall overlooking the sea, and waves crashing on rocks far far below, and I turned just as Jack rushed and embraced me and we crashed through the glass and down down onto the stones and were broken there and dead. And then we went at it again, like a video game - could I run faster? should I turn this way instead of that this time? and so on. But I could see it would end the same no matter how many times I changed my strategy. No escape. Clearly.
So, you know, I turned 60 years old two days ago, no biggie, but I guess some part of me wants me to start getting ready for the big finish.
***
I've been working hard at the Friends of the Library used book outlet, changing it all about, cleaning, gleaning, removing dead volumes to make room for titles a little more vital. It's fun and arduous and slow - slow because the main storage unit is unheated, and days lately start out near zero degrees. Ugh. But I've also been acquiring decent titles at rock-bottom prices (the semi-annual buck-a-bag sale lasted the whole month of December). We'll keep them bills paid.
Cats Lobsang, Ted, and Piffle, and dogApple, are here on the bed ready for lights-out. But where's Greta? I've saved her spot. Leo prefers the silence and solitude of the living room's comfy chair.
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