Day of gloom & wind - lovely day. Clouds glower and lower, lower and lower. Wind hollers fraught with wild extremity - respite from the ongoing blah we have been confined to. Glory it is, a day such as this! I miss my woodstoves of yore, but the brave little gas flame is doing its best.

I made turkey soup yesterday from the boiled Thanksgiving carcass, most honored feast-day animal sacrifice in this mostly meatless home. It was the best soup I ever made and I ate too much of it, and then carob-blueberry mug cake after that, so that I awoke every hour on the hour half the night for no reason at all.

Flitting bits of tatterdreams escaping.

Misunderstandings and miscommunications among the LibraryFriends I'll soon be "coordinating" with have started already, and I haven't even taken up my post. The week's been rife with confusion, and today I spend 2 to 5 p.m. in their midst struggling to keep my emotional keel even. I don't get how neurotypicals think, even the relatively higher-on-the-spectrum-than-most-NTs folks more likely to be involved with library stuff. Everyone clings to their bit of perceived power and works it hard to prop themselves up.

I say one thing, another is heard. I don't know how to bend myself to their sideways-speak that communicates so little but makes them feel comfortable and safe. And because what I do say is so precise and information-laden, they can't hear it at all, and so sometimes it sounds to their ears like something untrue.

So there it is. I understand the mechanism. I'll adapt as far as I can. I'll try to become stronger. I'll learn to keep quiet.